A perpetual source of frown on my ma’s face is my being nocturnal; and her inability, as of many others, to understand why I am one. I know why I am one, just that the reason became more apparent only while I was spending some reflective moments with myself last night....
Just last night, when I had almost nothing to do, I sauntered into the balcony adjoining my room. As I stood leaning against the railing, staring up at the endless dark, I realized, darkness had its own form and shape. Enticing, inviting, darkness is one phenomenon, unlike the rains, snow and much else, whose beauty is inexplicable, beyond any description. In fact, it is not in human capacity to understand this all pervading enigma- darkness.
Ever since I can remember, I have been in love with the few hours at night, which I get to spend with myself; sans any interruptions caused either by the constant nagging ma subjects me to, or by the variety of noises emanating from a variety of sources born out of scientific and technological advancements. Each day, I observe the subtle transformations the venerable sky undergoes, changing colors, from azure blue, to a calming grey, to the unfathomable black, and needlessly said, it is this black the serenades my mind, body and soul. The night time, is when I find most balance within myself; it is almost as if this new world, grey and faltering, invites ambiguity, and calls me to a place, where I have no identity, no pressures, and where nothing is clearly defined. I am given the power to paint whatever I want on the black canvass provided by Nature.
I pity those who see beauty only in light, who are averse to darkness, and look upon it as some sort of an evil. Stop a moment and think, eventually, it is only this darkness, which envelopes all of us. All that is deep, limitless and inscrutable in the universe is enveloped in darkness; darkness being the only thing constant throughout the ceaseless Universe. The unfathomable ocean is dark. So is the impenetrable forest. Dark, too, is that Supreme Person who is the source of all movement, life and beauty. And, beautifully stated in the words of V.S. Naravane, Krishna, whose adorable form flows out of Radha’s eyes and inundates the world –he, too, is dark like a cloud.
You are like a maiden,
Untouched and pure,
You are limitless,
You are incomparable.
Light is illusion,
You are real,
Under you I hide,
Here bliss I find.”