Showing posts with label bliss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bliss. Show all posts

Into Dreaminess and Back

on Monday, March 12, 2012

It was an evening quite like today. The scent of the wet earth still lingered in the air. Yesterday, rain was the devil. It had in it's power to destroy what was going to be the most memorable day in the life of this bride But today, the rain humbly withdrew from the limelight. Today's star was going to be this girl, sitting pretty with her hand in his', still counting her heartbeats. In those heart beats she was counting time till when she would finally becomes his', when she can  would finally drop carelessly into his arms.

That night, was her night. I was lost somewhere in the grand crowd of eager faces, each of whom smiled for her happiness and comfort. I did too. It was an evening like today. The musty breeze seemed to be my only companion. I had come wishing for her happiness, but in that crowd, I had found myself to be terribly lonely. It was only the bride's face which was familiar. Rest were unpleasantly strange. My imaginations were running amok. Someday, in near, yet distant future, I shall also adorn a pedestal much like her's. To a sprawling acreage of lush greens, I shall also be the shimmering queen.

But for that day, I was lonely. In the unending multitude of heartbreakingly unfamiliar faces, I only had the naughty breeze for company, which also devoted attention to tickling the ribs of small bright lanterns suspended from each tree in the magically illuminated garden. That naughty, musty breeze might have remained my only companion had fate not been in a playful and yielding mood.

Tired searching for a soul warming cup of coffee from the mad array of exotic delicacies competing for attention, I could finally locate a near empty table which seemed friendly enough to accommodate me. I did notice a lone male figure occupying the seat across my own, but that his features would be breathtakingly gorgeous, I had not expected. Had I even meekly expected, I would have stayed away. A dreamy romantic and a hapless single are a lethal combination for a girl who suddenly finds herself in such a titillating zone. Boredom also plays its role in necessitating a leap of heart in thinking "now begin the bright times".

Was I crazy when I shared the first smile? I promise, I did not do it knowingly. His beaming, spotless face evoked a smile in my heart, which promptly ran to my lips. He smiled back. Effortlessly. No, eagerly. This, because, as I later realized, he was my male counterpart at feeling lonely in the deluge of people. Like me, he knew no one else. Like me, he had no company. Like me, may be he too needed someone like me. Yes!

The conversation began with pleasantries. It moved onto polite inquiries.  Name. Occupation. Weather. Food. Ambiance. The bride. The groom. The match. Back to occupation. And then, inevitably, life. Why I said inevitably? Because a part of me told me it would. He had small eyes, hidden behind rimless glasses, which became smaller when he smiled. He never stopped smiling. Consequently, my once sombre face too, did not stop smiling. Worries about reaching home early dissipated into the cold air as I concentrated on how dapper his black suit over a black shirt looked. Did I say dapper? Casually graceful would be more like it.

I am not a shy talker. I must've been talking a lot. I might have said something which made him remark- "You know, sometimes, its just fair that we count our blessings. Those lines of worry which crease your face will disappear in a nano second then." I did not know why he said this, but that is when I kind of came back to senses. What seemed titillating till now was seeming genuinely nice and warm. There was something about his happy countenance; he made me want to smile. It sounds mad, but it also made me want to show my sadness, for he seemed like someone who could still make me smile. There was an enormous amount of positivity radiating from him. What most soothed a nervous girl's heart most was that he was not being kind to me. He prized my chance company as much as I did his'. And this I know, because he was not interested to even look up when bride and groom readied themselves to command attention from each pair of eyes as they exchange the garlands of sacred flowers. He would have much rather continued the conversation, but I did not want to miss one of my favorite rituals from a traditional Hindu wedding.

I stood there, watching them lovingly garland each other. I loved the clandestine glances stolen. I loved the delirious applause filling my ears. I loved seeing her turn red as he claimed her hand back into his. I loved all this, and yet, I wanted to get back to that one conversation which I knew would ease me through the dreariness awaiting with open arms at home. Somewhere, in the middle of that celebratory commotion, I was commanded to head to the gate. My car awaited me. It was late. And I am a girl. A nervous tingle on my spine saw me running to the gate after saying a quick and polite bye. Nervous. I did not think of it earlier, but how many people had seen me laugh and joke and talk with this virtually strange guy in this crowded, yet lonesome place?

On my way back home, I felt silly for feeling all that I did. Sweet silly. I felt grossly silly for not knowing why I did not exchange numbers with him. We had clicked decently well, it would not even have been awkward. No regrets, facebook is the great savior of today. All I need to know about anyone to permanently invite him into my life is his name. I knew his'.

At night, a night like today, with chill pricking at my bare arms, as I sat with facebook friend finder open in front of me, I decided against 'finding' him. He was the perfect stranger. Straight out of books and poems I had read and fantasized about. He will only remain the perfect stranger if I abandon my pursuit. Meeting new people, good people, people who survive only as fond memory, is a dreamy concept in retrospect. I like the dreaminess of it  I closed that chapter there. Now I only revisit the pages when the blur in my memory turns inviting.

PS-Few days back, he 'added' me. I cursed facebook for interfering with my dreams from the past. Did I add him too? Well, I still am a nervous romantic and a hapless single. Should I?



A Montage Of Memories

on Wednesday, February 8, 2012

What is the time of the year that as a college student you most look forward to? Definitely not the exams and assessments. It is, indubitably, the time your whole college is drowned under a spirit of celebration- your annual college festival which is not just a time to have fun, but also to work your asses off and proudly show off your college to the whole world out there.

I'll add one more thing to the above generalization. Not just for the incumbent college students, but also for the nascent alumni, the most looked forward to occasion is not the Convocation or the Reunions, but again, the college festival. I say this from personal experience. Reunions are good in their place, but they do not recreate the fervor and frolic associated with college life. Festivals certainly do. With a bunch of old friends, heading down to your own college with a cup full of memories in your hand and a sparkle of expectations in your eyes is an exercise many of us would like to undertake to revel once again in that relaxed, carefree air. My lips widen in a huge smile as I recall to mind that a similar trip I shall be undertaking towards to my college just about a fortnight hence. It is that time of the year again. It is MONTAGE time again!

Splashed all across my twitter timeline and facebook wall are updates and more updates about this year's edition of Jesus and Mary College's Annual Festival- Montage'12. It is heartwarming to see juniors take the oars in their hands and row towards the D-Day with such skill and innovation. With each successive edition, we at JMC have gone a notch higher in terms of the quality and enthusiasm with which we decorate the fest. More spunk has consistently been added. More shimmer sprinkled. More care observed in organization. More efficiency achieved. More events conducted. More participants attracted. More fame gained. And if I am to go by the words of the college president, Kanika Chaturvedi, this year, Montage promises to be nothing less than EPIC. Dear Kanika, make it an advanced version of epic. I know it lies in you and your team to do that!

The team. Aah. Now they are an enviable lot. A bunch of young, smart girls, who put the most passionate sections of their heart and the most creative sections of their brain into making certain that the fest is pulled off with uncomplicated meticulousness and stylish grace. One of the many new things they have tried this year is reaching out to people via an interesting blog. Oh, they have made some awesome teaser videos too, but since I am a blogging person, I am glad that my lonely, nightime occupation is being taken seriously by some cute damsels. They are churning out some cool posts with a candour and lightheartedness I wish God blessed all of us with. The feel you get while reading all those posts just makes the air around the road leading to the fest all the more energized. The countdown has begun.

Hit the fb page, or the Montage official website, but what I will strongly recommend is that stop by Montage's official blog by clicking here. Take a moment. We want you to laugh with us. We can be pompous about ourselves, because all the awesomeness JMC lends to us is prone to spilling out now and then. But with this blog, the creative scribes of JMC are out there to make you feel at home even before you step into our campus.


Its here. Montage '12. So, are you ready?

 
PS- If you are one of my male friends reading it, FINE, I know I have to make sure I take you along. I will. I promise. But don't you dare pester me to introduce you to femme fatales from my college. Please.

A Ruhani Sojourn

on Monday, January 16, 2012

"Gori sove sej par, mukh par daare khes.
Chal khusro ghar aapne, saanjh bhai chanhu des."

Nestled at the heart of alleys bustling with religious books, flowers and chaadar for worship, food shops to feed the lesser privileged, and beggars hauling you from all sides is one of the most inspiringly spiritual places in all of Delhi- The Dargah of Khwaja Nizam-ud-din Auliya. Whether you visit his dargah with the faith of a devotee, or the curiosity of an explorer- the unmistakable aura in the air flowing through its sacred precincts will touch you in a pleasantly memorable way. Each visit of mine to this dargah has been a mystic experience. Here, I've always experienced tranquility and clarity of thoughts; and an urge to explore the ruhaniyat experienced in Auliya's presence a little more. 

Hazrat Khwaja Syed Nizam-ud-din Auliya was a sufi mystic belonging to the Chishti Silsila (meaning a chain or lineage) of Sufism, the other known name from the same silsila being that of Khwaja Moinuddin Chishti of Ajmer Shareef fame.In Delhi Nizam-ud-din Auliya is arguably the most venerated sufi peer, with the largest list of devotees thronging his dargah each day of the week, at all hours of the day. My luck was shining bright the day I made my first visit to his dargah. While I was lost in the magnificent golden hues which reflect off the dome of the main shrine, some enamouring sufi music greeted my eager ears, and I squatted down for close to two hours on the cold marble floor of its courtyard, soaking in the beauty of the whole atmosphere. Maati ke tum deevare, jo suno hamari baat...

One of the gravest anomalies in my life is that I have not found myself touched by spirituality or divinity in the slightest measure. That was precisely the reason why I explored the whole courtyard of Auliya's dargah with a childlike curiosity and amazement. I was informed of Auliya's almost filial love for his mureed, Amir Khusrau, the last in the line of great peers to have consecrated our land with their presence. Auliya willed that a devotee first pay obeisance at Khusrau's dargah (lying in the same complex) before he proceeded to worship at his own shrine- such was his love for his devoted student. Sufi diaries are filled with fables of  the interactions between Auliya and Khusrau. The dance of dervishes first manifests in one of such fable. Listening to these fables in an erudite company while staring at humble heads bowing down in prayer at Auliya's doorstep is an experience I may not be able to put fairly to words.

I do distinctly remember this very fair, middle aged lady, dressed in a rich black fabric, sitting on the right side of the main shrine from my first visit to the dargah. She had her forehead pressed to the wall lining the inner sanctum on which were engraved some religious words in Arabic script which I obviously could not decipher. Upon close scrutiny I realized that she is mumbling something. On closer scrutiny I realized that she is cring softly, huge beads trickling down her cheeks. I checked myself immediately, for it felt grotesque to be intruding in someone's personal moment of connection with her Lord. But I did settle down myself near her. She was reciting one of the chapters of Quran, the Sura-e-yaseen. Did I say reciting? No, she was singing it in a lovely husky but muffled voice, stopping only to kiss the Arabic calligraphy decorating the wall. I sat for almost as long as she did, listening intently to her, not understanding a word, but experiencing something overwhelming. The last thing I remember from that day is some tears in my own eyes before I left the sacred courtyard.

Ever since, I do feel overwhelmed when I visit this dargah. Devotion, faith, amity, honesty, miseries, smiles, desires, gratitude, divinity-all of these are palpable in the very air of this place. Since spirituality is not my domain, I end up shedding soft tears, sometimes in confusions, at others in relief when there. Each time, it is an overwhelming, yet liberating experience of its own kind. There is so much still for me to understand about things which are not easily perceivable. The only thing I understand as of now is that Auliya preached a message of love, patience, tolerance and secularism while he was making his important contributions to our city's rich history around 13th century AD. Tolerance and patience are virtues I am attempting to imbibe in. Love is what I make sure to carry within myself each moment the way Auliya and other sufi mystics preached it. When it is to that love that one surrenders, the peace and bliss we so yearn for can be the only natural thing to follow.

Do visit the Nizam-ud-din dargah complex if you still have not. There are lot of other historically significant sites in the vicinity, more on which I would perhaps write later.

Sultan-ul-Mashaikh Nizam-ud-din Auliya's mysticism is all that has charmed an amateur Delhi explorer's quill as of now.



Notes.
1. The couplet at the beginning was composed by Amir Khusrau at the time of Auliya's demise. Succinctly, yet hauntingly it captures Khusrau's crestfallen state when his object of devotion had escaped from his mortal body.
2. Sultan-ul-Mashaikh is an epithet for Nizam-ud-din Auliya, often used as a prefix before his name. It toughly translates as the "King of spiritual guides".
3. A rickshaw ride from the Jangpura Metro Station on the purple line is what you would need to have your own personal rendezvous with Delhi's greatest sufi peer, and also his mureed.

The 7X7 Link Award

on Thursday, January 12, 2012

I have just been initiated into the world of blog awards, primarily due to the kindness of a blogger who writes under the curious guise of The Serious Butterfly. Her name is Sanchari, and this colorful butterfly flaps her wings over numerous ideas and issues and employs some beautiful words to provide contours to hitherto formless thoughts. She is an artist too- the hues of creativity splashed on her blog will make you realize her caliber.

And the reason for my current obsession with her and her blog is that she has conferred on me my first ever blog award! Honestly, the concept of Blog Awards has still to appeal to me in full glory, but accepting it as a gesture of appreciation does wonders to nourish the writer inside me. It makes me happy for the fact that while I am but a miniscule speck floating amid the current of millions of upcoming writers of brilliant potential, some people out there are  noticing my words and encouraging me to keep them flowing.

I am following Sanchari's lead. As I have learnt a few hours back, there are rules to acceptance of this award. They are flexible, but the ones adopted by Sanchari are fun, hence I'll make use of her research, with some special words of gratitude being sent her way.

Rules to this award:
1. Thank the person who gave it to you.
2. Share 7 unusual things about yourself.
3. Share 7 of your worthy posts under the following heads- Most Beautiful Piece, Most Helpful, Most Popular, Most Controversial, Most Surprisingly Successful, Most Underrated, and Most Pride Worthy.
4. Nominate seven other bloggers and notify them.

#1 Gratitude
Dear Sanchari, I formally thank you for making me feel awesome at the dead of the night. My first blog award will always be remembered. It might so happen that it will be the only one to be remembered, since I do not foresee more coming my way, but that dismal picture shall be painted some other day.



 #2 Seven Unusual Things About Myself
One- I am a very clumsy eater, and I try to hide this fact, resulting into a clumsier eater in the attempt. This is the reason I never eat my subs in company; they are always packed and eaten in the solitude of home.
Two- I love silver jewellery, and often think that on the progressive path, I will skip gold and graduate to diamonds and platinum straightaway. For the time being, I am saving to buy some silver pieces I have been eyeing for a long period.
Three- I have a habit of hugging special words and sleeping. How? By clutching to my bosom my journal, a nice novel, some rare letters or even my phone if it pings with a touching SMS.
Four- No matter where I go, I always carry a pen and my journal along.
Five- Agrasen Ki Baoli and Nizam-ud-din Auliya's Dargah are my favorite places in Delhi, at least for the time being.
Six- I am a listener and observer- I think that in each element around me hides a story waiting for me to discover it.
Seven- I hate being answerable for any of my actions. I work hard towards avoiding any situation where I am answerable, but often ruin things by trying too hard.


#3 Seven Posts
Most Beautiful -  An Engagement Mills & Boon Style!
Descriptively the most beautiful, this post takes inspiration from a real live love story to paint some fictional scenes. Among my own writings, it has a sacrosanct status.
Most Helpful - At The Edge Of Sunshine
In this post I record some musings which I want to remember forever. Written based on a chance meeting with a relative stranger, this article talks of the importance of been shaken out of our comfort zones to realize our true potential in life and the perils of stereotyping our own selves. Helps me, has helped a few others too.
Most Popular- Valentine Art Affection
Sitting on top since the very day it got posted, this post based on the magic of Leonid Afremov's brush strokes beats all the other in number of individual page views by miles. It is a visual delight, and a welcome break from my customary lethargically long posts.
Most Controversial- Revelation
It is a nice post, once again extremely close to my heart, but it is the only one on which a critical debate has arisen right here, on my blog itself. While the content was appreciated, the controversy hinged around my proclivity for grandiloquent words, my untamed verbosity of expression..err...and I think I did it again!
Most Surprisingly Successful- Understanding Them/ Beauty Lies In Distortions
This was my first guest post with which I ventured into an area I seldom explored- psychological vestiges of experiences during adolescence. More than comments, it fetched me numerous words of gratitude sent via personal mediums. When we are brave enough to share thoughts we feel tormented with, we might actually inadvertently end up helping someone else- this I learnt from this guest post experience.
Most Underrated- Winter Reminiscences- That Story
If the comments are anything to go by, then I feel this post did not get the attention it deserved. I tried to figure out, but could not find reasons as to why. Motherhood is not a topic I touch upon often in my post, and when here I did, I thought I did a decent job of it.
Most Prideworthy- That Walk Down My College
I know I did a good job with this piece of writing. Besides getting me noticed among some people of reckoning, it narrated with devoted honesty a simple incident which left a profound impact on me.


#4 New Set Of 7X7 Link Award Recipients
Yarn of Words by Aakrity Malik
The25thHour by Archika Poria
Monumental Crankiness by Rahul Biswas
A Portrait Of Emotion by Priyanka Tampi
Nirvana by Aavika Dhanda
Words by Saru Singhal
Hausle Buland by Kunal


Dewy Diamonds

on Monday, January 9, 2012


Moist pearls tickle my toes
Smell of dew runs up my nose
Bare feet nudging at rich wet grass,
Droplets reflecting the sheen of stars
Eyelid touched by a rainy cue
My lips curve at the magic of dew.
The darkest hour enchants like a spell,
Dawn crawls in with a musty smell.
Morning bliss derived from that,
Nighttime's glow in the nature's lap. 


Beauty Lies In Distortions

on Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The quote I have used as the title to this post I came across in one of the episodes of the musical travelogue- The Dewarists. It intrigued me, and stayed somewhere at the back of my mind. A day back, I used the same as the opening line for a Guest Post I had been invited to write by a blogger friend, Gopan. Guest Post- I had not quite known of this concept, till I came across a few blogs which encourage different writers to come together and air their views on a common portal. On my part, I felt ecstatic at the knowledge that a person who knew me only via my writings wanted a splash of my thoughts on his blog. I was given an absolute free hand to choose the subject of my article, only with the appendage that something on social issues would be slightly more appreciated.

I did not exactly pick a social issue, but something close enough. Like most of us, I too have had a tumultuous adolescence. Growing up had its beauties, but it also gifted me an alternate set of experiences which could baffle, obfuscate, frustrate, anger, depress, irritate, and cause a deluge of many more not-so-positive emotions to infect my brain. Transitioning into adulthood, looking back at the period which has left the most pronounced effects on my current and lifelong personality, I could discover a lot of thoughts inside me which I wanted to put to paper. I have always been a worshiper and admirer of the beauties which lie within subjectivities- and it has always beat me how people care not to appreciate or understand the innate subjectivity each human carries in his demeanour, emotions, psyche,  and (needless to say) in a combination of those three.

My reflections on adolescence as I had experienced it, primarily hinging on the lack of understanding which as adolescents we faced in our times, the impacts of it on our individual and collective psyche- combined with the pathos of the subjectivity which remains most consist in the Universe, waiting to be included, appreciated and not ridiculed, form the broad basis of my article, titled Understanding Them.

The wonderful blogger who invited me to contribute to his portal, quite aptly named My Open Voice, was gracious enough to post my article without any editing on his blog. His name is Gopan. A Kerala resident, soon to be flying to UK to pursue further studies, Gopan, as I found out later is, academically at least, a bright psychologist. I was initially skeptical to attempt a piece of writing which naively touches upon psycho-social contents for the perusal of a psychologist, but his balanced appreciation of the same has left me glad for having done it. I would be happy if my readers would visit the link specified below and give me their feedback, even if it contradicts my beliefs as projected in the article.

Understanding Them 

@

My Open Voice



Coupled with the happiness of having written my first guest post, was the mirth of having completed 100 followers on Nascent Emissions. Thanking each single one of you for all the support you gave, I would specially like to thank Nishant Jain, who, a little after midnight on 3rd January 2012 officially became my 100th follower. For information's sake, Nishant is a dear buddy from school, and had insisted that he be informed as soon as my blog completes 99 followers, so that with a little promptness, he could have the distinction (insignificant, I know) of being the 100th name to be associated with my Nascent Emissions. Graduating to triple figure followers base does feel amazing, and a cup of coffee is what I shall be treating myself with.