The dreamer in me almost invariably surfaces in it's full strength and color each time the word 'examination' is even remotely sighted in my life. It is the case with many I know; but with me its exceptionally beautiful. Brutal too. I have spent the most pleasant moments in the world of my imaginations where for once I can live everything I find lacking in my life- I can be an artist crafting murals on the opposite wall, I can be a free bird taking a lone vacation in Nainital only to read, write and drink coffee, I can be the topper of my college (University actually!), or I can be singing in a concert, mesmerizing multitudes with my voice. And all this I can do only till my gaze does not flicker to my illegibly scribbled notes and the clock in rapid succession. Then, I am doomed!
Now that I reflect on it, I feel stupid, funny and angry. I screwed up my exams; but that's consistent. So no anger or frustration there. I feel angry and stupid at having postponed my New Year Celebrations, and along with it, an associated ritual I am particularly fond of. Now, what use was it all? I spent the New Year's Eve studying, and the subsequent two days frolicking. I am failing my papers as it is. Had I not studied I would have failed by a greater margin. Big deal! Huh!
Now, the ritual. As the dying moments of every passing year erect a sepulchre of memories above my head, I only patiently gaze up, and see images of the best and worst spent moments strewn across the sky. Then I absorb. I experience. I live it again. Finally, I write.
Last night was particularly daunting for me. I feared that the pleasant nostalgia I experience while ruminating on the past year would have ebbed away by now. Worse- it will go unrecorded this time. I was wrong. It intensified. And I felt happy. For a change, for once, I was not harrowed by the negative visions from the past. I was, rather, greeted by a montage of some really pretty/handsome faces who formed a very fond part of my past year, and who will continue much beyond into my future. My bright future. My dismal future. My great future. My not-so-great future.
After this particularly long introduction, it is these faces whom I want to pay an ode to through this post. My diary knows enough about them- its time my blog marvels at the enviable assortment of friends I have who make my life splendid, tough, royal, ridiculous- all at the same time.
It is in the following entry that I will introduce them all to my blog. Not all of them are friends- some are subtle sources of inspirations, who offer me alternate perspectives to view life from. But all of them, every single one of them have two things in common-
1. They are people I absolutely respect, 'cuz they all humble me with whatever they embody within themselves.
2. They are the highlights of the year 2010 for me. Besides being with me the whole year, they all have taught me a lesson or two- something that will stay with me for a long time to come.
Right now, Agra beckons. Yes, after a hectic examination time, I am off to Agra to spend some time in the relaxed company of relatives. I'll return to my blog on Monday.
