"The more I think about it, the more I realize that there is nothing more truly artistic than loving someone."
I had used this line somewhere last year, on a birthday note of a very special friend. As he tells me, this thought left a profound impact on him. Earlier, he used to be a little dry in terms of dealing with people, which is just to say, that the kind of principles he followed prevented him from getting attached to people, or reciprocating their attachments. This would often result in a quandary. Attachments hold people back. So, although, he has immeasurable respect for all people around him, he likes to lead a reclusive life- him, his books, his ideals and his dreams. It was his life, and I had no business meddling into it, till one day, we randomly discussed about his sister-- and that was when I realized that this social pariah, whom I thought very nearly incapable of exhibiting and feeling human emotions, was crazily in love with his sister. And obviously, she with him.
The problem was that while her life remained centered around her brother, he had wider horizons to chase. She made little efforts to make him feel her love, and even though he valued her efforts, he failed to acknowledge them in front of her. This would lead to a mini shattering of her heart. She knew her brother well, and she knew precisely what not to expect from him. Still, the human heart would nurture its fond, unreasonable expectations...the kind which came with a bubble reputation- the time of their creation would portend an inevitable and unfortunate burst. His inexpressiveness would often hurt her, but she knew she could not change her brother- and why should she? She loved him for being so focussed, so admirable and always available as an elder to advice and comfort her.
Things were going great till this day I met him, and he was visibly upset. Apparently, he had shouted on his sister about an hour ago, and he could not forgive himself for it. The silly girl's fault- she had stepped much outside her comfort zone to send to her brother a gift, an arbitrary gift, sans any occasion; and what this doting brother did was only to locate futility in her action and accordingly scold her for it. The girl, predictably was heart broken. And, she ended up apologizing for her act of infinite sweetness. Now, let us not misunderstand the brother at this point. He was enraged at the fact that the girl had taken so much trouble just to make him feel special. However, this undercurrent of extreme care did not prevent me from shouting on him, taunting him and giving him a good piece of my mind. I did not care if passers-by actually stopped, and smirked and speculated if we were a couple indulging in one of those routine altercations. I gave him a lengthy monologue, replete with sharp, hurtful words, and stopped only at the point I saw genuine repentance in his eyes. He had, unknowingly hurt his sister; but he was not the sort of person who would know how to make up for it, rather, he did not know even if he had to make up for it. He told me later, it was the sentence quoted right in the beginning, which is scribbled in a pretty handwriting on his exquisite birthday card, which made him feel immensely guilty in the first place.
That night, when he finally apologized to his sister, expressed his deep love to her and felt immensely better, he gave me a call to thank. He thanked me for the hand made card I gave him, and confessed that the numerous things wrote in that lethargically long birthday note end up guiding him in his most perplexing moments. In good humor, I scolded him a little more, and then, smugly, slept off.
Last night, I was recollecting to my diary this incident, after a unexpected call from the same friend. He had an issue to resolve, and upon its resolution, he thanked by reminding me the same quote with which I began this post. It kept me thinking for a long time. I still am. Loving someone is an abstract concept. It is unique to each. People have their distinct ways of making their special someones feel loved. It does not require a great amount of care, instead, requires a fair amount of instinct. If you do truly love someone, you will know instinctively what the person wants from you, expects from you and what makes him/her infinitely happy. Throw in a little bit of unconditionality from your side to accessorize your love, and that will make your object of love feel not just special, but blessed. Try and be there, be available, and your love will experience a sense of security which will erase all his/her fears. Your object of love does not have to be your partner/spouse/companion, but any and everyone who has added some amount of beauty to your life. Making others feel special is simple, and one should keep it that way. Complications arise when we think to much. Honestly, if we close our eyes, and imagine the most awesome smile on the face of our loved ones, will we not also be able to ascertain what could possibly cause that smile. And in that little smile lies perhaps one of the most triumphant moments life can give us.
Think about it.
PS- If I may add, only as a jest, you do not have to think hard, but try and be unique. Gifts are a good way of expressing you care, but they are not the only way, definitely not the unique way. Ask me. People know that I have a fondness for writing, and hence, since the beginning of the year, I have been gifted THIRTEEN diaries, each more beautiful than the other, but please, thirteen diaries?!? Also, I love coffee, and hence coffee mugs just do the trick for my amazing, loving and caring friends. Christmas, New Year and now even my birthday presents are raining coffee mugs, my collection at seven so far. Last I heard someone told me coffee is injurious to health. Sorry folks! Will not be able to use them all in the near future.
I had used this line somewhere last year, on a birthday note of a very special friend. As he tells me, this thought left a profound impact on him. Earlier, he used to be a little dry in terms of dealing with people, which is just to say, that the kind of principles he followed prevented him from getting attached to people, or reciprocating their attachments. This would often result in a quandary. Attachments hold people back. So, although, he has immeasurable respect for all people around him, he likes to lead a reclusive life- him, his books, his ideals and his dreams. It was his life, and I had no business meddling into it, till one day, we randomly discussed about his sister-- and that was when I realized that this social pariah, whom I thought very nearly incapable of exhibiting and feeling human emotions, was crazily in love with his sister. And obviously, she with him.
The problem was that while her life remained centered around her brother, he had wider horizons to chase. She made little efforts to make him feel her love, and even though he valued her efforts, he failed to acknowledge them in front of her. This would lead to a mini shattering of her heart. She knew her brother well, and she knew precisely what not to expect from him. Still, the human heart would nurture its fond, unreasonable expectations...the kind which came with a bubble reputation- the time of their creation would portend an inevitable and unfortunate burst. His inexpressiveness would often hurt her, but she knew she could not change her brother- and why should she? She loved him for being so focussed, so admirable and always available as an elder to advice and comfort her.
Things were going great till this day I met him, and he was visibly upset. Apparently, he had shouted on his sister about an hour ago, and he could not forgive himself for it. The silly girl's fault- she had stepped much outside her comfort zone to send to her brother a gift, an arbitrary gift, sans any occasion; and what this doting brother did was only to locate futility in her action and accordingly scold her for it. The girl, predictably was heart broken. And, she ended up apologizing for her act of infinite sweetness. Now, let us not misunderstand the brother at this point. He was enraged at the fact that the girl had taken so much trouble just to make him feel special. However, this undercurrent of extreme care did not prevent me from shouting on him, taunting him and giving him a good piece of my mind. I did not care if passers-by actually stopped, and smirked and speculated if we were a couple indulging in one of those routine altercations. I gave him a lengthy monologue, replete with sharp, hurtful words, and stopped only at the point I saw genuine repentance in his eyes. He had, unknowingly hurt his sister; but he was not the sort of person who would know how to make up for it, rather, he did not know even if he had to make up for it. He told me later, it was the sentence quoted right in the beginning, which is scribbled in a pretty handwriting on his exquisite birthday card, which made him feel immensely guilty in the first place.
That night, when he finally apologized to his sister, expressed his deep love to her and felt immensely better, he gave me a call to thank. He thanked me for the hand made card I gave him, and confessed that the numerous things wrote in that lethargically long birthday note end up guiding him in his most perplexing moments. In good humor, I scolded him a little more, and then, smugly, slept off.
Last night, I was recollecting to my diary this incident, after a unexpected call from the same friend. He had an issue to resolve, and upon its resolution, he thanked by reminding me the same quote with which I began this post. It kept me thinking for a long time. I still am. Loving someone is an abstract concept. It is unique to each. People have their distinct ways of making their special someones feel loved. It does not require a great amount of care, instead, requires a fair amount of instinct. If you do truly love someone, you will know instinctively what the person wants from you, expects from you and what makes him/her infinitely happy. Throw in a little bit of unconditionality from your side to accessorize your love, and that will make your object of love feel not just special, but blessed. Try and be there, be available, and your love will experience a sense of security which will erase all his/her fears. Your object of love does not have to be your partner/spouse/companion, but any and everyone who has added some amount of beauty to your life. Making others feel special is simple, and one should keep it that way. Complications arise when we think to much. Honestly, if we close our eyes, and imagine the most awesome smile on the face of our loved ones, will we not also be able to ascertain what could possibly cause that smile. And in that little smile lies perhaps one of the most triumphant moments life can give us.
Think about it.
PS- If I may add, only as a jest, you do not have to think hard, but try and be unique. Gifts are a good way of expressing you care, but they are not the only way, definitely not the unique way. Ask me. People know that I have a fondness for writing, and hence, since the beginning of the year, I have been gifted THIRTEEN diaries, each more beautiful than the other, but please, thirteen diaries?!? Also, I love coffee, and hence coffee mugs just do the trick for my amazing, loving and caring friends. Christmas, New Year and now even my birthday presents are raining coffee mugs, my collection at seven so far. Last I heard someone told me coffee is injurious to health. Sorry folks! Will not be able to use them all in the near future. 
